I don’t think I could convey to you how many times my friends and I have have pondered this question:
“Is the guy I like where he needs to be spiritually? He’s really cute and super nice…but I don’t want to get into a relationship that won’t be Christ-centered.”
At least for college-aged girls this is a huge deal because we are NO longer in a place where we can say to a guy after a not-so-great date, “I’m going to college soon, so there’s really no point” or “I’m not old enough to be in a relationship.”
I, and a lot of my friends, are in a place now where we really want to listen to the Lord and trust that he will bring us the person we want to marry, in his timing. Unfortunately, I don’t believe there is a black and white answer. And I don’t believe you will know right away if you could spend the rest of your life with someone the first day you meet them, in most cases.
However, after doing some thinking and praying, I do believe that if you are done playing games and if you are serious about waiting for a man to pursue you that will lead you in a Christ-centered relationship, he will need to be mature in his faith. I’m not going to list out the stereotypical “reads his Bible and prays everyday” qualification, though that is so honorable and important. I simply want to look outside the box and look mainly at how he treats others and himself.
Ladies, here are 5 great indicators of a mature man. I hope you will consider these prayerfully as you get to know someone you’re interested in. (Also, let’s make a promise to ourselves and God that we will do these things for others as well….because we all know maturity isn’t just for men! Hahaha!)
A mature man:
1. Does what he says he’s going to do.
If he says he’s going to help you in some way, he tries his best to do it. If he says he’s coming to your performance at 7, he is going to do everything he can to come support. If he says he’s going to stop treating you a certain way, he makes sure its going to happen. If he doesn’t keep his word with you, how can you trust him? I want to be able to rely on my guy!
“All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” -Matthew 5:37
2. Treats others with purpose.
A man who has experienced the love of God realizes that every human being on this planet is a beautiful creation made in God’s image. Therefore, every person he meets is someone who deserves his love and respect. Also, he will treat you the way he wants his future daughter to be treated. If he is mature, he won’t play around with your heart. He will be purposeful and make his intentions clear.
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” -Genesis 1:27
3. Knows how to apologize.
This is huge. A humble man will realize when he has made a mistake and will do his best to admit it and fix it.
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” -James 5:16
“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;” Hebrews 12:14-15
4. Spends time and money wisely.
He puts aside time to study for tests. He doesn’t buy that TV when he knows he can’t afford it.
“Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce. Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with good wine.” -Proverbs 3:9,10
“The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” -Proverbs 13:4
5. Fights for Purity. Including his own.
If you’ve read my previous post “Sincerely, One of Many Girls Who Care” you know how important this is. I’m going to be blunt for a quick sec: If he pressures you to do things you know aren’t right in your heart, whether its just a little kiss or not, DROP HIM. A man who values you will value your purity, and respect your future husband, by not allowing anything to happen that will compromise your values or his. I will also go to say that if someone you’re interested in is addicted to porn, he’s not in a place where he can whole-heartedly love you, and only you. Love him first and foremost like a brother in Christ, and urge him to get help for this addiction. Pornography is so relevant among men our age, I’m almost tempted to say that if you find a man who isn’t looking at porn, he will most likely have all of the above traits I’ve listed; because in order for him to not look at that, he is most likely pursuing Christ with his while heart anyway.
“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” -1 Timothy 2:22
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” -Matthew 5:8
Girls, who we trust with our hearts needs to be someone we can trust. There ARE men like this out there. Please don’t think there are not. I know because I can think of at least 15 in my head right at this very moment.
You are so incredibly precious. Please don’t waste your time or emotions giving your heart to someone who will love you in a worldy way.
Anyone can do that. Stick it out for a man who will reveal the love of Christ to you, everyday, in every way he can.
Because that is the kind of love that breaks through barriers.
The kind of love that a strong family can be built on.
The kind of love that changes the world and spreads like a wildfire.
And most importantly, THAT is the kind of love that brings Heaven to Earth.♥