Last night-after 6 years- I took off my purity ring.
Not because I no longer desire to be pure but because of the little words engraved on the ring: “True Love Waits”. I don’t want this to sound cheesy or even condescending, but no. TRUE love doesn’t wait.
The reality is I have experienced the ultimate love of Jesus. Not JUST because he died on the cross for me-the ultimate act of love- but because he constantly romances me every single day with a love that never fails. No, he is not my “boyfriend” but he is true love. He is the love I’ve been waiting for. I’m not “waiting” around for something better, because there is no better love. If the Lord gives me the gift of marriage, then that’s soooo exciting. But life doesn’t start when you get married people. Its now. Its right in front of you. And so is your ultimate lover.
The Bible never promises us girls husbands. Harsh reality, but its true. I’m the worst when it comes to cheering up a heartbroken friend. My whole life I’ve said things like, “Its okay, God has someone better in store for you”. But I’m never going to say that again. It will probably sound something like “Its okay, The Lord loves you so much. Just know that this is for your good, even if its hard. You are so precious and beautiful!”
Please know that the True Love Waits series changed my life. In fact, I can say with absolute certainty that I would not be a virgin today if my youth group had not done a series on it. I love and respect this ministry. But If we’re being honest, we’re lying to our youth groups if we promise them a future spouse only to keep them from having sex. And if not having sex is the goal, we have bigger issues to face. I just wish I had spent more time falling in love with Jesus and less with my “future husband”
(Added: The True Love Waits ministry is not the problem. The problem is a lot of girls take what they learn about purity and run with it in a way that honors their future husband more than God.
Also, I love purity rings. Wear them. Use them as a reminder to flee sexual immorality and stay pure in every way possible to honor God. Its just that for me, taking mine off represented giving up the idea of a future husband.)
This blogger (when addressing the series) says it best in her article “I Don’t Wait Anymore”:
“A lot of girls are sold on a deal and not a savior”
God is worth so much more than our virginity.
And he is so much more than a pathway to a husband.
He is the goal. He IS love.
“Have you ever realized that God’s Word promises that Jesus will come on a white horse and will rescue his bride, that he is preparing a mansion for you and will one day wipe away every tear? These truths were written in scripture thousands of years before fairy tales. The Cinderella story is just a shadow of a much greater spiritual longing. When marriage is healthy and men are truly honorable and chivalrous, this is a celebration of the ultimate Prince.” Juli Slattery in Pulling Back the Shades
Revelation 6:2 “And I looked, and behold, a white horse! And its rider had a bow, and a crown was given to him, and he came out conquering and to conquer.”
How beautiful would it be to to see people so in love with Jesus that it didn’t matter if they ever got married?
The relationship you might have one day with your husband is simply a picture, a representation, of the relationship we have with our ultimate lover, Jesus.
[Song of Solomon is not just about a man and a woman’s love. Its an allegory for Christ and his bride, the church. aka you and me 🙂 ]
“My beloved speaks and says to me: Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away, for behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone.”
“You are altogether beautfiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.”
“You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes…”
“How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, with all of your delights.”
“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.”
HE pursues us, even if a guy doesn’t.
HE constantly fights for us, even if a guy doesn’t see your worth.
HE gave his life for us, even if a guy will never do that for you.
HE is always strong, even when men can be weak.
He is always patient and kind, unlike men who can lose their temper.
HE bears all things.
HE endures all things.
HE is always there.
Sweet women, he delights in us. No matter what we’ve done. No matter how many times we’ve spat in his face by using and ignoring him. He’s fighting for you and he will never stop.
Stop waiting. Love is here.