Today I had a young man message me on facebook and ask me for advice.
His question was: “What are girls who are devoted to God’s call on their life looking for in a man?”
Naturally, I started to write out a list of requirements such as “passionate” “honest” “sincere” etc. but the more I started to write, the more I doubted myself.
I mean, how on Earth is it humanly possible for me to speak for the Godly female population?
Not all Godly girls want a man who desires to be a preacher and be a pastor’s wife. Not all Godly girls want an introverted poet who can lead worship like an angel. Not all Godly girls want to marry a missionary and travel the world.
So what do all Godly girls want?
(Because let’s be real, we really don’t know what we want most of the time and that’s the truth. We might think we know exactly what we want but then someone shows up and completely confuses us and throws off our “logic”.)
SO HERE IT IS. THE ANSWER YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR…
GODLY GIRLS WANT JESUS.
WE DON’T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING OR ANYONE MORE THAN JESUS.
WE LOVE JESUS.
WE WANT TO SERVE JESUS ALL OUR LIFE.
AND IF JESUS TELLS US TO BE SINGLE FOR FOREVER, WE WOULD DO IT.
So know that there is nothing you can do to take His place.
However, if we believe you are a man who will make us more effective in living out God’s personal calling in our life, we will be drawn to you.
If we believe you will speak Jesus’ words to us, we will be drawn to you.
If we believe you will point us to Jesus when we are confused or heartbroken or in sin, we will be drawn to you.
Does that mean we will want to marry you? Not necassarily. And that’s okay!
Just know if it is God’s will for you to marry a girl, God WILL lead you to a marriage that will make you more Holy and therefore more happy. You might have to live life with a few godly girls before you meet the one you will marry, but that’s good!
Investing in relationships in healthy ways with people who inspire you to be more like Jesus can only make you more Holy. Is this not what us Godly people want? If it isn’t, shouldn’t it be?
Stop caring so much about being “a better spiritual leader” or a better “speaker” or a better “gentleman” or “more sincere.”
It’s not about being the coolest or most attractive.
THE PRESSURE IS OFF OF YOU! BECAUSE ITS NOT ABOUT YOU! IT’S ABOUT JESUS.
Quit trying to be the perfect boyfriend. Quit trying to be her god.
STOP.
Throw away the lists and JUST ABIDE.
Why?
Because when you run after Jesus, all those things will come naturally to you.
Heck, its not even about getting a girlfriend in the first place!
You are focusing on the fruit and not the vine!
IF YOU ABIDE IN HIM, YOU WILL BEAR MUCH FRUIT. APART FROM HIM, YOU CAN DO NOTHING AND YOU ARE WORTH NOTHING. (JOHN 15:5)
This goes for everyone.
Notice that in Galatians 5, it says the fruit of the spirit —>IS<— love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. It is a package deal. They are not separate entities.
Abide in Jesus with everything you have and you will start to look more like Him. 🙂
A Godly girl will be doing the same thing.
We tend to complicate this so much.
ALL A GODLY GIRL WANTS IS ONE THING MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE:
MORE OF JESUS.
So there’s the answer you’ve been waiting for 🙂
THIS IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW. THIS IS ALL YOU NEED TO STRIVE TO BE LIKE. JESUS. SIMPLY JESUS.
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
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This is great! Thank you!
Obviously the topic is a serious one and has an impact on both peoples lives. I believe the principle is correct as a relationship should be God / Jesus centred. However, it still doesn’t guarantee compatible views, may even create disagreements. I’m sure both parties want to do what the word of God teaches, and it should be a sincere approach to discovering how each person interacts with view of Jesus in the foreground all the time. Sometimes, a person can believe in Jesus, but has some hidden issues which can surface and surprise the other.
Of course there is a natural desire for somebody to “like” somebody e.g. they may just have the looks of a famous rockstar/movie star, talk and act real smooth and cool, but without Jesus being truly #1, the self aspect can be a very unlikeable thing over time.
If both parties believe in God/Jesus, and realize temptation/sin (lust of the flesh) is always a footstep away, why not labour the point to Jesus in prayer: Lord if this is not the one who you want me to be involved with, please take me or them out of the situation. And wait , be very patient for God to answer. This will test both parties love of the Lord.
Jesus knows who is perfect, and unfortunately, we can desire somebody who the Lord would not have us to be with for whatever reasons.
I loved the story of Isaac and Rebecca and how they met and the lifelong love they had. Even though they didn’t necessarily agree on all things. Put everything to God in prayer.
love this.
Reblogged this on Chicken With a Side of Bliss.
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Reblogged this on My Heavenly Divine Destiny.
Truly speaking, I love your words from a- z, we do want someone whom crazily in love with Jesus, and talk about him at all the times, that is someone one special person to meet in the world…. Love you and your comment.
Karabelo Ramasheane.
Best advice I’ve ever heard. Read this last year and I still come back to it for a reminder of the value of Christ and His glory in ALL relationships. Keep honoring Him despite any persecution. He is worth it.
Reblogged this on maryvanwyk and commented:
LOOOOOOVVVEEE! PLEASE READ 🙂
Kiddo, I have some “advice” for you. That man you experienced “the rapture” with was not Jesus, and you probably shouldn’t have called him that.
And I agree, this read like The Onion – it’s a teenager’s dreamy stream of conscious nonsense, not actually workable advice. Again, I do better with the non-Christian girls, they have far fewer problems like this. And they are way humbler and more realistic about life.
Christians have forgotten how to be humble, and there is nothing humble in this post.
Looking at what the whore of Babylon got, I think this blogger should count herself lucky, don a head covering (#biblical) and shut the fuck up.
This is why I date unsaved girls and try to convert them. They are so not like this. They learn to love Jesus without having to make a big dramatic, defiant issue out of it.
This post is just another example of why men leave the church – this is beyond wearying dealing with this kind of attitude. This post pretends to be about Jesus, but in reality it is mostly about feeling justified in judging other people.
If this really describes what all Godly Christian women want in a man, then why do so many want nothing to do with marrying the men at church, who are far more interested in being like and pursuing Jesus than the non-Christian guys that so many so-called “Godly Christian” women fall for? No; what this article says isn’t enough in and of itself to attract any of you. A man must be a masculine manly-man as well. Unfortunately, too many of the so-called “Godly Christian” women these days will choose a non-Christian masculine man (oftentimes “bad boys”) over a nice Christian guy who is doing EXACTLY as this article says he should do. That shouldn’t be the case, but all too often it is.
What’s worse is that they aren’t even to that caliber. They “backslid” during college, only to become pious motherfucking born-again virgins.
Oh yeah, “backslide” is a Churchian term: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=backslide
born-again virgins
Heh, yeah…. I don’t know what moron came up with that concept, but anytime I hear someone claiming to be one of those, it takes a lot of will-power to refrain from slapping them. It’s like, they have some nerve, thinking they have any claim to the title of “virgin” once they’ve given it away.
Reblogged this on .
Thank you for your insightful words on what a Godly Christian woman wants in a man. Let me just say this is so true of what a woman following Jesus would want-more of Jesus! Thank you for putting things into perspective and encouraging young men and women to stay close to Him! God bless
I loved this post!!!! You did a great job conveying the heart Jesus has for relationships!!!! I was really encouraged reading this. Keep writing what the Lord puts on your heart, He is using you!!!!
I disagree.
Best advice I have ever heard come from a person. The first time I heard it, it was from Jesus. Thanks for the reminder…Abide…
Best advice ever??? Please…
The blogger needs to marry this man, or she’s a hypocrite.
I find this to be a dangerous statement, and a bit of a copout. While the sentiment might be OK, there is a very real call for men to be the spiritual leader of his home. When you tell a man to “stop caring” about being a spiritual leader or being more “sincere” (whatever that means), you are asking him to rebel against those things that God has put in him.
And the idea of “being drawn” to someone kind of takes the responsibility off of us as God’s creation. God does not call us to be passive, particularly in marriage (and the things that lead up to it). The first statement about marriage in the Bible is that “The man shall LEAVE his mother and father and CLEAVE to the woman, and the two shall BECOME one flesh.” That’s a pretty hefty, and a pretty active, calling.
In addition, when you put this kind of expectation out there, what you’re really saying is two things, whether you perceive it or not: “Nothing you ever do will be good enough” (certainly not a respectful statement to a man) and “I’m going to put myself in charge of this whole dating and marriage thing and you don’t have much at all to say about it.”
Yes, a Godly man will focus his life, and especially his marriage, on Jesus. Yes, a Godly man will, if he is truly desiring to do God’s will, seek out a Godly woman. And together, they will point the ship that is their marriage to God. But it is not an unthinking, unfeeling, passive “let’s just see what God does” type of thing, nor should it be. You won’t get a job or start a career by sitting back and saying “let’s just see what God does.” You’ll use the gifts and talents that God gave you, to be sure, but you will have A LOT of work to do.
God’s not going to just hand you a husband on a silver platter. He may guide you to the man He wants you to marry, but you’re going to be in for a lot of hard work, and it doesn’t matter if you marry Enoch or Elijah (both of whom were taken up to God pre-death because of how Godly they were).
Reblogged this on Pulchra Es Intus Et Amo.
I just recently got out of a relationship that truly meant a lot to me. This guy was truly amazing and unlike any guy that I have ever met! At first I was really distraught and sad about it. I am a little embarrassed about it, but one of my first initial thoughts was, “How am I supposed to find another servant-hearted, Jesus-loving, caring guy like this one?!” After reading this blog post, my understanding of my worth and my relationship with Jesus has been reaffirmed and changed forever! I know that this sounds kind of dramatic, but I am 100% serious. If I am truly a woman of God like I believe myself to be, then finding another guy, or thinking about finding someone new should not at all be one of my concerns. I now understand that this breakup is something that the Lord is using in order to grow me and give me a better understanding of what my identity in Christ looks like! It has made me realize that my relationship with Jesus is far more important than being with a boy who will give me only temporary happiness. Growth in my relationship with the Lord comes first, and change needs to happen with that relationship before I pursue any other relationship. So, having said all of that. . . I am so thankful that the Lord has used you and your words to change my life.
Reblogged this on Palm Foot Poets and commented:
My norm isn’t to post other people’s writing, actually this is a first. But today it’s well deserved. I saw this posting come across my news feed on facebook. I wondered to myself what she could possibly have to say that would be worth while? I suspect there are few topics we are more inundated with than the dating goober that we all get slimed with in christian culture. Ugh! I would rather be shot in the face than have to listen to one more sermon on dating or marriage! No this doesn’t mean I’m one of those women who is A-sexual without any libido, in fact quite the opposite. It’s amazing I haven’t turned into a smurf with all the blue blood coursing through these veins.
However! That is not what I was aiming at point wise. I realize that we all long for companionship, but my views actually genuinely support the sentiments of this woman of wise words. I wished I’d written it myself! Her response to a man asking what christian women are searching for in a man. LOVE how she brought it right home!
Well put my friend.
Have a read. It’s worth it.
“Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord!’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of My Father in heaven. -Matthew 7:21
“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalm 37:4
“Love is PATIENT, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not SELF-SEEKING, it is not easily angered, it keeps no RECORD of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always TRUSTS, always hopes, always perseveres. -1 Corinthians 13:4-7
First of all this page is so stupid. What makes ‘godly’ women any better to any other person on this planet? Second of all, you cannot complain about stereotypes when you are stereotyping yourself and other members of your religion! You are not all the same and therefore you cannot speak on behalf of all the others. I am sick of religious members of communities believing that they are better or different to others who do not share their religion. And frankly this page is a complete joke. You are not any better nor anyworse. Christians sometimes believe that they are better than other for example looking for someone who shares their faith a good ‘Christian man.’ When in fact who is to say that he is a good man simply because he follows this faith? Christianity basically teaches to be a decent person which many people already are. Simply being a Christian does not define you as a good person. Your actions, not your beliefs show this.
Being a Christian isn’t defining yourself as a good person. It’s knowing that you’re a sinner, that you’re not a good person. It’s knowing that we can never be good enough, but we don’t have to be…because Jesus is…Jesus is good enough and He is all we need.
Actually, Christianity is about knowing we are sinners. We do need to recognize it, but we are supposed to walk in the reality that we are righteous! God tells us in Romans 6:15-23 that we are slaves to righteousness, not to sin, therefore, we are righteous!! Now, we cannot walk like a bunch of bigoted hypocrites, but rather in the saving, humbling grace which God has placed upon us!! Christians should be the most humble on earth according to the Bible, how can we not be if we walk in the reality of saved by grace!! But we are also righteous!! We can never forget that God sees us as righteous!!! It is so crazy to think about but it is so awesome (and true)!!! I can go into more detail if yal want but this is my 2 cents for now :)! Love all you awesome people!!!
The first “is” should be an “isn’t”.
Godly woman? More like a champion cock-sucker.
Actually Lucinda, Christianity teaches that “no one is good, not even one.” Christianity is not about being a decent person, it is about full and total surrender of everything to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Christian people are called to follow one person, Jesus. He gets to make all the decisions when you make Him Lord. Most people aren’t really disciples and don’t really follow Him because they believe that there are areas of their lives that they get to make the calls in and truly think God doesn’t care about those areas. Unfortunately that is false. Jesus told His disciples that following Him meant laying down everything….including their lives for His sake and the gospels. If you are a followers of Jesus what you do, where you live, and where you go, and yes even who you marry is HIS decision, not yours. Jesus is King over a Kingdom, not president over a democracy.
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Reblogged this on I Am Less and commented:
Perfect.
I have met some girls who love Jesus so much that no guy can measure up…..Remember ladies, being like Him is a goal. Nobody will ever get there, until we die.
To be honest, I don’t understand why people always try to water down other people’s passion. If she wants to pursue Jesus and follow him, why would she even want a man who will lead slowly into another direction?
There are a lot of girls out there who feel exactly like this and if you are not part of them, then may be you should not comment and make her feel like she is wrong writing this blog, or that she is a little too fanatic or unbalanced, I don’t know. She never said the guy will have to be as perfect as Jesus himself, she was just saying what his main passion in life would be. And please, she never said that she is “dating” Jesus like if she and Jesus send each other sms here and there or go sometimes for a coffee or a movie. Some respect please!
So dear blogger, keep up… continue your passion for Jesus and I will personally pray that whoever your husband will be, he will pursue Jesus more than you and it will leave you completely awestruck with the fact that there are people out there who are really wholehearted for Him 🙂
These kinds of articles get confusing. I think that it’s interesting that there seems to be so much obsession with “dating Jesus” or stuff like that, that we may mistake the imperfections of every person we come across as incompatibility or think there is no way to date someone who isn’t “Jesus-like.” Newsflash-It’s impossible to live up to that standard. Haha. It’s the commitment of both people in a marriage to journey together in Christ and grow. They both will mess up and both can fall away from God. It just happens. But what separates a good marriage from a bad one is the actions of the other partner to help draw the other back and provide love and support in hard times. It’s easy to be married with things going good. But things don’t always go good. This is why it drives me crazy to have these people bring up this argument that they won’t date anyone because they are focusing on “dating Jesus” right now. You can’t date Jesus. Haha. Some people shut out every romantic possibility because they have become so focused on finding someone who is perfectly like Jesus that they forget that nobody is. It’s a balance of knowing someone is truly seeking after him verses knowing that we are all fallen and make mistakes. It’s a matter of human maturity to not expect someone to come sweet you off your feet like a prince and live happily ever after. Mature people struggle together and support each other and understand that marriage is a journey, not one where there is a Jesus clone that comes to date a girl out of the blue.
this is ridiculous beyond comprehension. so much so that i actually find it funny.
if you want to live your life this way, whatever. i can’t stop you. but what i find inappropriate is spewing this bullshit on the internet. it makes me angry.
it makes me angry that you would categorize all women’s wants into something that what most people would consider to be insane.
it makes me angry that you are giving men yet another absolutely unrealistic expectation to live up to.
it makes me angry that you portray the fact that men need to be a certain way to get married, not the mention the fact that you suggest that men need to get married.
it makes me angry that you would even suggest that a man’s actions will have no effect and display no worth to women.
and it makes me angry that people are actually reading this crap.
these kind of ideas are what is poisoning humanity. and this pathetic excuse for a blogpost is portraying the exact same message as the media in todays society is; be and act a certain way, or you’ll never find love/get married/be happy.
religion is an extremely powerful thing. it shouldn’t be used to warp and twist ideas into some person’s sadly insane excuse for a ‘revealed secret’. and thats exactly whats happening here.
im an 18 year old girl who has seen a whole lot of shit in her life. a lot of which has had to do with self hate; not being able to accept myself and love myself because there has always been and always will be expectations that people are made to execute. this kind of thing is not much different to something that has destroyed me in the past.
i have a secure value system. i know whats right and wrong. and this, this type of thing makes me so incredibly sad.
and i try to tell myself that theres going to be assholes like this no matter what i say or do; assholes that twist things, and plaster extremely horrible and wrong messages everywhere (in the name of God, no less). but it still eats me up inside. maybe because theres a possibility that a little boy could stumble on this article, and it could change the way he sees himself, make him change who he is because he wants to get married and thinks that will even come close to validating him as a person.
and i can’t think of anything in the world more wrong.
this is what this article should have said in the first place
be yourself. nothing else is going to make you happier.
and that is the one thing in this god awful world that I’ve found to be true.
thanks for your unnecessary bullshit. oh and uh, fuck you.
This previous reply is sad. The writer of this article is telling christian men that girls who love and follow jesus want a guy who loves and followJesus. THATS it. You must have been hurt badly for you to be so angry. I am sorry that this has happened . God truly loves us all that he sent his son to take away the sins of this world. When I asked forgiveness for my sins and accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior, he became first because he is God and His ways are truly good righteous and beautiful, Not condemning me or anything. I married a guy who when I met was not a christian and was just sweet and wonderful and a listener and PATIENT with me:) I told him about Jesus and now to this day he tries to live for Him and serve him in all he does….lol with our 6 kids , at every job (construction) and you know what ? We aren’t church goers. We try to read scripture but man do we get busy. The thing is he wants to serve God here on earth but we are regular people. Not religious. BUT ! I LOVE MY HUSBAND so much- and what makes it so much better to live with him love him and serve him as a hubby…. is that he loves Jesus too and he tries to follow his word: to be honest, gentle humble teachable…this article is not for people who don’t love God first. It is foolish nonsense to all who don’t want to follow God with everything in them, all the while making mistakes along the way and sinning…. This article, to me , is for women !!!! It validates the girl reading it that ,YES , she wants a man who first loves God and wants to follow him in all he does and its most important for her:))) I bet not many men go around reading this and they are like oh let me follow Jesus to get a good girl!…HAHAHHAHAHA but maybe? I think this article is just like a gentle virtual arm on the shoulder and it says yes honey, I think I know you…you want someone in your life who loves Jesus with you:)) to be your mate:)
Yasmine: suck a fat one. Nobody cares that you’re married and currently ball-busting your husband. You’re so fucking full of yourself, and people in your life are sooner or later going to get sick of hearing your shit.
Yes, there are going to be cunts who herd together and bully good, considerate girls like yourself, but think of it this way. You have something they’ll never come close to having: a hymen. ❤
Reblogged this on The Pure Wind Chronicles and commented:
This is absolutely the best article I’ve ever read on relationships. Please read.
I personally would agree that a “Godly Girl” should trust Jesus in ALL things. However, we sometimes take for granted that everyone’s perception of trusting Him living for Him are the same. They are not. It would be naive to think that human characteristics will not, at some point in a marriage, penetrate the cocoon of spirituality. Then what? Devastation.and possibly divorce. Yes, by all means find a partner that is following God’s plan for their life and wants you to folliw the plan for yours. If his idea of God’s plan is that you support him in his walk, are you willing? The author only gives the first step. The other things are left for you to decide for yourselves. It is almost a cop out on her part. Of course a Christian girl would look for a Christian boy. But what then? We need to start telling these children the truth about relationships and sex, yes sex. If we continue to only tell them to “folliw Jesus”, we are setting them up for failure and dissapointment . I tell you what, no matter how wonderful my partner’s walk with God is, if he doesn’t do his share of chores, there is going to a problem. If he thinks I should stay at home while he works, problem. Controlling, problem. Etc., etc. They need to trust Jesus to help them work through all these issues and any more they can think of before getting married. Don’t get married thinking it will all work out. Work it out first. Set goals. Talk! Communicate what you think about what a marriage is. If you expect things, tell each other. I would expect that my spouse would not let his appearance go after marriage. Seem silly? Its not. Does he expect that you won’t gain weight? Young people say, “oh, I don’t have any expectations or issues.” Really? Its the little things that kill marriages.
I think that people are taking this the wrong way. She says the number one priority is that they help us grow in Jesus, not that it’s the only thing that matters. In fact, she wrote:
“If we believe you will point us to Jesus when we are confused or heartbroken or in sin, we will be drawn to you.
Does that mean we will want to marry you? Not necassarily. And that’s okay!”
She’s pointing out that there are other factors involved. But if Jesus is your number one priority then when you see someone else devoted to Jesus, it’ll get your attention. This isn’t only written for some “perfect, ideal world”. It’s just saying to focus on Jesus and let godly relationships happen when He wills it to.
A humble man with strong mind and a soft heart,and a strong desire to server Jesus
Reblogged this on PrincessaMae and commented:
I agree with the writer. Guys should quit trying to be the perfect boyfriend.
Personally, I am not looking for a perfect boyfriend because he can never be perfect on his own. What I am looking for now is a guy with a teachable heart who will allow Jesus to mold him into becoming perfect through Christ.
I agree with this post, in theory. But I also agree with other people’s comments that there is still a lot more to making a relationship work than sharing the same religion. Preferences and compatibility cannot be ignored. Personally, I love that my fiance loves Jesus, but I wouldn’t be marrying him if he hated cats.
This article isn’t talking about focusing on Jesus and throwing away practical wisdom. It is for the serious Christian who wants to be like Jesus, who wants to live a life like Jesus (lots of Christians don’t want to do that) and by living that life, then God bringing the desires of the heart to come to pass. I am still learning that today. People focus on the compatibility and personal preferences – but really, when a person is serious to being just like Jesus, then those things aren’t that important because they want to walk like Jesus walked and talked like Jesus talked. They are so focused on 1 Cor. 13:4-8 that the God-kind of love is more important that their own selves. Really, when it comes down to it – do they want to do the plan of God or their own plan for choosing a spouse?
“People focus on the compatibility and personal preferences – but really, when a person is serious to being just like Jesus, then those things aren’t that important because they want to walk like Jesus walked and talked like Jesus talked.”
Okay, but compatibility IS important. And I can’t begin to follow he circular logic of everything else you said, so I’ll end here.
Stephen knows his shit, he’s just like Jesus.
Is this satire? The whole thing sounds like an Onion article.
Wait, is this for real????????!??
I am sorry but this article gives us a picture of dating in an “ideal world” and completely ignores the elements that are real in the realm of the fallen world we live in. I know that the author means well, and I agree that our own personal development and relationship with Jesus Christ must be a priority over dating for the sake of dating, but we live in an imperfect world and these “things” really do count. If all that is required for two Christians to get together is “their hearts for Christ”, now then all of a sudden I am compatible with every single Christian woman, which is absolute untrue. There is SO MUCH that goes into the realm of (Christian) dating that it really just isn’t as simple as “more Jesus.” We “sometimes complicate things” because things really are that complicated. We cannot be ignorant to all that comes into play. In fact, I believe that if you put two people (single) who are absolutely in love with Jesus and after His heart, in the context of a relationship when they were not meant to be (conflicting personalities), that they may even HURT each other’s personal walks with God. We are trying to find our lifelong spiritual partners on this earth, and in a world of broken relationships, it is an absolute MUST that we find someone we can personally walk alongside with that we can work together with. And unfortunately, that just isn’t possible in this world just because the other person “loves Jesus.”
Furthermore, this article can potentially breed a generation of passive Christian daters. The mentality of “Focus on God and He will bring me my wife/husband” completely disregards the fact that God has given us the free will and thus, calls us to take ownership over our own choices, including the person we will eventually marry. First of all, this builds an expectation that “once I am godly enough, God will land me a spouse.” There is no such thing. No one will ever be “godly enough.” There is such a thing as “adequate maturity” so that you can be a reliable partner when the waves come crashing in, but no one will ever reach a point of being “godly enough” for anything. Second, in all that we do in life, we are always called to take initiative, step out in faith and allow God to work in areas that we cannot control. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself walking near-perfect (if there is such a thing) walk and still find yourself single because you didn’t take initiative. Whatever it is that we can control, we must do to the best of our abilities, and leave the things that cannot be in our control, up to God. If you want a relationship, let Him know. ASK Him to prepare you. FOCUS on your relationship with Him, while at the same time taking every single opportunity to build your character into the person that He wants you to be for your future spouse, take the initiative by meeting people and being open minded, and leave everything else that you cannot control, up to God.
Kenny, GREAT GREAT GREAT post. Did I say GREAT? This is about as fundamentally real as you can get about this whole scenario. Let me tell you, I rashly married someone based on the fact that he had a “strong relationship with God”. And it turns out, we COULD NOT get along… at all. Ultimately, it drew me farther away from God, into depression and isolation, and did major damage to both of us. I learned, the very hard way, that it is too easy to make decisions based in self-will and try to stamp God’s name on it to justify it. Thank you for this reminder.
Sometimes God’s will looks NOTHING like we think it should.
Reblogged this on FMC MJYF.
Reblogged this on "Expect Miracles" and commented:
Thanks Fel for sharing. Ahhh, the great question: What kind of a man is a Godly woman looking for? I have to say I agree with the author. A Godly woman is looking for a man who strives to be like Jesus. A man who will push her and challenge her to grow closer to God, and depend on God with her. A man who will pray with her, side by side. Not a man with a shallow label of religion, but a man who truly sees God’s hand in his life, every day.
“I want a man with a Bible is his hand like this…”
I think that what you have said is perfect. Even though we are human, doesn’t mean that we take that for granted. If we chase Jesus as our life goes on, then it doesn’t matter if we stuff up along the road because Jesus will pick us up again. I agree with you blogger. That woman will appreciate us no matter how much we stuff up, as long as we look toward Jesus. Great post and I can’t wait to read more. God bless.
Reblogged this on Americas Belle.
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Hmmm. I’m a bit unsure about this. I am a woman who truly does desire Jesus, but I am also a human woman. I can’t honestly say that as a woman who is pursuing God (and by your definition, godly), I don’t desire any human characteristics beyond that my man pursue Jesus. That, of course, is the most important one, but we must remember that the men we interact with are also human. Many will stumble in their pursuit of Jesus. Many will be on fire for Jesus, but simply will not be compatible with me from a human standpoint. I don’t think that makes me ungodly, I just think it makes me human and imperfect. I think this article should be titled, “What a perfect girl would look for in a man in a perfect world.” But that’s just not the reality.
I think this is a beautiful reminder of grace for men, but it may just be interpreted by women as a cause to setlle for someone not meant for them simply because the “seeking Jesus” requirement is met.
Seek Jesus first, ladies – you too, men – but you are not in the wrong for being selective about the person you marry for other reasons. God would never call us to marry someone simply because they are pursuing Jesus – he calls us to someone because they can partner with us in the mission we are called to and vice versa.
I think I mostly agree with the comment above. I have dated girls who have been whole-hearted followers of Christ, but they just weren’t compatible (i.e. she wanted to be a missionary but my ministry didn’t allow me to live overseas) I think we need wisdom in selecting a mate. Finding someone who loves Christ is absolutely essential,of course, no doubt and should be a no brainier for mature Christians. But the truth is, there are a whole bunch of other facets we need to look at here… for instance, what is his/her character like, is there chemistry, do your callings align, are his/her words about how much they love Christ reflected in how they live their life (i.e. their actions which is our real spiritual act of worship?) GREAT article, but not as helpful in terms of practical wisdom in choosing the right mate.
I believe that the point of this article was to highlight the fact that I’d we are truly believers who want God’s will we will desire nothing more than his plan for us. We have a list of preferences but our heart’s desire is to please God by being submissive to his will. If he sends someone who isn’t the perfect imagination of the man you dreamt up would you tell God that you don’t want it or would you submit to his will and watch him work?? If he ordained it he will without a doubt make it work as long as both parties fully submit to his will! That’s the message I picked up. And from present personal experience IT’S NOT GONNA BE PERFECT BUT GOD’S WILL IS MORE REWARDING THAN ANY DREAM ABD FANTASY.
Yeah, I have to go with Emily on this. This article in no way reflects real life, nor is it helpful at all in terms of Jesus or the Bible or the real world. Sorry, can’t agree with it
Yes Emily, you are so right!
May Smith, you hit the nail on the head. Good to see there are still people keeping it real, keeping it authentic….
That’s definitely not the point she was making. She was just trying to say that godly girls want more of Jesus. And when a godly girl sees a guy that is so in love with Jesus that draws them near him, not because his relationship with Jesus is perfect, but because his relationship with Jesus is FIRST.
Just as I hope my future husband is drawn to the way I love The Lord with all my mind, soul, and body first before anything else, because apart from Jesus I have nothing to offer him. The point of man and woman being together is to bring even greater glory to His name and to encourage, comfort, and strengthen one another in their relationship with Christ, because when Christ is the center everything else just falls in place.
**** adding to my comment
She isn’t saying that the only thing the guy has to have is a relationship with Christ, but it is this MOST important part. It IS what every godly girl wants.
Note, that she even states that girls will be drawn to men who are in love with Jesus and point them back to Jesus, but that it doesn’t mean you will be marrying one another.
She also says something along the lines (I am not quoting it word for word) that if they abide in Jesus that the rest will fall into place…. And I believe that means the characteristics that make them unique.
Lastly, she does state that the guy may need to have a few godly girl relationships (friendships) before he finds the one he is suppose to marry, therefore I do believe she knows there is more to it than just having a relationship with Christ…. But she also believes that if you abide in Christ wholeheartedly everything will come together and fall into place when Christ wants it to happen.
What a load of sh*t oh my gosh.
“She was just trying to say that godly girls want more of Jesus.”
Oh my gosh, they never do. What they want is the leader of the praise band’s cock in their ass.
The author is on point when she stated :
“If we believe you will point us to Jesus when we are confused or heartbroken or in sin, we will be drawn to you.”
“Does that mean we will want to marry you? Not necessarily. And that’s okay!”
All she’s saying is trust in Jesus and the rest of the pieces will fall into place.
This page not your reply sorry
Now, I know this isn’t what most godly Christian girls want to hear, but maybe God’s plan for you is to marry someone who you’re not attracted who has Jesus’ heart. God’s not concerned about outward appearances, and neither should you be! If his heart is truly for you, it may be in disobedience to the Lord that you’re rejecting him, especially if he’s a better Christian than you. Both men and women need not judge outward appearances, such as body fat, body odor and a collection of Pokemon cards, but someone’s eagerness and real heart for Jesus.